29 May 2017

544: Decade with Desteni - Transcending Laziness

Looking back on the years of self-writing, and blogging, I see a particular pattern wherein I am reflecting a lot on resistances I experience within my day to day living. I am still working with, and walking through a pattern of laziness, or not wanting to do this or that, and wanting to instead just entertain myself, have fun, or relax. And I wondered if this is something others relate to, or if it's kind of 'out there' in terms of it being unusual to hear about someone resisting simply LIVING and moving, and walking through their day, getting things done.

Then I look at some people in my family, like my mother, and my aunt, or a long-time family friend who are very self-motivated to do what needs to be done in a day - like cleaning the house, or doing little projects here and there - always moving themselves physically. These were the examples I had growing up, yet for me - I felt very much the opposite in what I saw in them. I didn't want to do it - I didn't want to do anything. I would do what I absolutely had to - but anything more, nah. That was my motto.

This is what I've been walking these past 7 years - reflecting on who I am throughout my day, questioning my nature, asking why do I do what I do, and why don't I do what I don't. What motivates me, drives me, influences me? How do I make the decisions I make? This I never did much of before coming across Desteni.

Desteni is celebrating a Decade since first 'going live' online - and I will tell you, how grateful I am for the life-line I found in them.

Before Desteni - I never questioned my behavior. I simply accepted it, even if it was shitty. I may have struggled with it, and created consequences for myself, but I never dreamed of the practical changes that one could make, that I found through the support of Desteni. I never considered in seeing behavior or thoughts of myself that I wanted to change - that there was an actual step by step way to physically, practically do it... that it wasn't based on an idea, but about real change.

I am more pro-active in my life now then I ever was, and I know that is because of walking this Desteni Process. Applying self-honesty, and self-forgiveness, letting go of the past, the good, and the bad - embracing the present. Stopping fears, and resistances, questioning myself and pushing myself to live a potential I can see within me, but that I never knew before how to nurture. That is because of Desteni supporting me to realize I am the only thing standing in my way to realizing what this life is about - and what is actually possibly in this Life. Without Desteni, I may have never realized I could make such a Decision to take control of my life, to be different, to change.

So one point here I can share about myself that I have Desteni to thank as a point of support is this point of being lazy, and not wanting to do what I would define as 'hard work'. I learned there is such a thing as living without emotional experiences, where you simply DO what is necessary to be DONE. That our internal experiences should not come before what is in our physical reality - and what is required of us HERE. That we have a responsibility to not only ourselves, but to others as well, and our environment and EVERYTHING that exists HERE. And in the past Decade with Desteni - Many have realized their responsibility, their potential, and their ability to respond in ways that are best for all. And i'm grateful everyday to have those living examples, and to dare myself to live a new example.

I have seen first have what is possible within walking this process - the potential existent within a human being, and we have only begun.



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