309: Giving Me Security

Okay - so here I will go into the self forgiveness for the points mentioned in the previous blog - expecting security in relationships.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to enter into an relationship within an expectation to find security, confidence and assurance

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that I will find security, confidence and assurance within relationships

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the Living Words of security, confidence and assurance and so within this, project it 'out there' unto a relationship and think and believe that's where it exists

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to con myself into believing that a relationship can give to me a sense of security, assurance and confidence

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to expect my relationship to give me security, confidence and assurance

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that within the starting point of seeking security, confidence and assurance from another within a relationship with me, I am existing within a starting point of self interest and thus abusing myself, my partner and the relationship we have as I am them existing conditionally as wanting and needing them to give to me something I am fully capable of, yet have not yet done, which is give to myself, for and as myself, security, confidence and assurance

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to depend on a relationship for my sense of security, confidence and assurance

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to depend on another for my sense of security, confidence and assurance

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if another does not provide me with this or I do not find it within a relationship, then I will never find it instead of realizing the illusion I am existing within in not seeing/realizing it can and only exists within/as me

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to look outside of myself for security, confidence and assurance through defining these words to exist only within a relationship with another

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to define relationships to be security, confidence and assurance

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to use relationships to define myself as secure, confidence and self assured

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to enslave myself to a relationship with another where I go to find my feeling of security, confidence and assurance - here revealing that that is only what it can exist as when I seek it outside and separate from me here- a feeling, an experience, a fleeting moment of self created energy that is not real or does not matter or is not substantial - it is gone before I know it and thus I am trapped in the constant need to 'get it back' not ever stopping/seeing and realizing that it does not exist 'out there', it can only be real when it's here as me

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to react within my relationship when I perceive myself as not getting security, confidence or assurance and thus go into blame - blaming my partner for not giving to me these things instead of realizing the reality of the situation is I am blaming myself and then projecting it unto my partner for that which I am looking for, which in this case is security, confidence and assurance and until I allow myself to redefine it into practical, physical, living actions and thus live it as who I am, I will forever be lost in the search for it and thus in friction with myself and another, as I am not aligned with it as myself and thus living it as who I am - until I do this/live this/give this to myself, I will never be satisfied and always end up in disappointment as I am then expecting from another something they cannot give me for real

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that security exists within/as the physical and thus when I am here, breathing, standing equal to and one with my physical body without the need, desire or search for something outside of me here, when I am in fact standing here with and as and for myself in and as breath, then I am secure - secure in who I am, where I am and what I stand for as I am here and thus participating in the reality that matters and exists in full awareness of life and what is here and thus that is the process to be walked and so I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to bring all of me back to myself here, in each moment of breathe, where I exists for real as self secure, self confident and self assured as HERE, I realize 'I am Here' and thus all that exists is here, within me as the potential I have yet to realize and thus live

I will continue with the commitment statements in the blog to come


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